Things I would tell my younger self

 Whenever I'm asked the question "If you could change anything in your past, what would it be?" I usually say nothing. The outcome of my life and who I am would be completely different to the way they are now, even if just one little thing were to change.

I could always pick a painful memory to remove from my history, but those lessons and painful experiences in my past have made me the person I am, even though I can't always see the reason why they happened, they changed me.

When I was tagged to do this blog post, I started thinking that maybe, If i could go back in time and change something. I would simply hand my younger self a letter of advice instead of trying to stop a particular incident from happening.

So, here is my letter of advice/tips to my younger self:

1. It's ok to feel.

In your diary you wrote " If I allowed myself to feel, everything that has happened will catch up with me and i'll drown in a sea of grief and pain".  How can you learn to swim if you're not in the water?  Don't be the grinch, stop denying your emotions, feel them! The longer you deny your emotions the harder it will be to deal with later. It's ok to cry, sometimes that's the best way to heal.  Even someone who seems like the strongest person emotionally, still has moments where they completely break down from grief. It's how you pick yourself up afterwards that matters. Always get back up again. 

2. Some things are just out of your control:

Don't dwell on the things that have happened if you can't fix it or change them, just stop. You'll save yourself a lot of anxiety, stress and sadness. Accept that they happened and focus on how you can improve yourself. Mistakes are part of life, and everyone makes them, they're how you learn.

3. Say what you're thinking, go on, do it!

Stop thinking about how you will be perceived and what people will think of you. Speak your mind, stand up for yourself and the things you believe in. Confront the people that have done you wrong, accept no shit! Don't be so easily defined.

4. Talk to someone, ask for help. 

Stubborn as rock, you never ask for help or tell anyone what your going through. Honestly, how much heart-ache can you have save yourself if you just tell someone. You're too afraid of getting judged or accused of being a lying attention seeker. Even though not everyone will believe you, someone will. Best to share these things, you could save yourself a lot of pain and anxiety down the track.

5. Someones inability to see your worth, does NOT mean you are worthless.

You're all you have, don't give up on yourself so easily. Life is hard, but there are so many beautiful moments that are worth staying alive for.  Just because some people can't see how worthy you are or treat you as you should be treated. That is not a reflection on who you are, it is a reflection on who they are. Ugly hearts do ugly things.

6. Ditch the toxic relationships

You know when you are compromising your morals and doing things you promised yourself would never do. If they were your real friends, they wouldn't ask you to compromise who you are. Even if you can't see now how toxic these relationships are, look at the person you have become, are you proud?

7. You can't have everything perfectly planned out and thats ok. 

You don't know who you are or what you want to be and that's ok. You don't need to, you have plenty of time to figure that out. Just follow something you love doing and if that doesn't work out, follow something else.  You are capable of doing anything you want if you set your mind to it. There is no blue-print to how you live your life. Not everything will always be perfect or go to plan.  It's also ok to do some things simply because you love and enjoy them.

8.Don't wish away your childhood and youth wishing you were older
Be a kid! Stop trying to grow up and act mature, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

9. Dont believe everything you think.
Your mind can be your own worst enemy. Don't believe every thought that comes into your head, the majority of them are complete lies.

10. Live your life, have fun, enjoy the small moments.

Stop worrying about how you'll look to the people around you.  You only have one life, don't live it fearing what other people will think of you. Have fun! Live a little. You will be filled with more regret from the things you didn't do, than the things you did.  Sometimes it's perfectly fine to look like a complete idiot when you're having fun.

There are so many more things I would tell my younger self if it were possible.  I read a quote on Tumblr the other day that said "Be the person you needed when you were younger"  that really spoke to me.  Even though it's not possible for us to go back in time and talk to our younger selves,  we can still try to help and be there for the younger generations.

Infinite x's and o's

Elena

Don't lose yourself chasing people | thoughtful Monday

I used to be a bit annoyed at the quote "don't ever chase people, be you and do you're own thing and the right people will stay with you." because I thought, if no one ever made an effort and everyone believed in that quote, then no relationships would be pursued and no friendships would be made. Someone has to be the one to make an effort right?

I honestly think one of the hardest things emotionally is knowing when to walk away from situations and people or when to try harder.  I don't know if you've ever been in a situation which has made you question why you're trying so hard, but I know I  have.

I think in the end this comes down to self esteem. If you're running after people when they back away from you trying to prove that you're worth their time, It's because you want to prove you're worth to yourself.

In the end, if someone were to think you're amazing and worth everything, then you would believe it as-well.

Putting your self-esteem and self-worth in the hands of others is the biggest mistake you can ever do, because they will drop it and you will be left with nothing. Every time it's dropped, it becomes harder to pick back up again. 

I know it's very easy for me to write these words and tell you "don't let your self-esteem be affected by others" and "don't allow your happiness be dependant on someone's attention to you" because I have done these things and It's a very hard and vicious cycle to get out of.  

What I'm telling you is to respect yourself enough to walk away from a situation that makes you question if you are worthy. 

Instead, focus on the little things in life that you find happiness in. Make a goal, plan you're dreams and strive for that instead of chasing people.

That's my thoughtful Monday thoughts for this week, hope you're having a pleasant start to the week, 

Infinite x's and o's

Elena